Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K.Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were
travelling in an autorickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of
them died.
Yama Raja was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death.
He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN.
But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.
Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.
He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of
them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public
positions, etc.
Then why the differential treatment?
He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation
before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or
pre-conceived notions.
Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an
English test.
PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA " and he does it correctly.
Advani is asked to spell " ENGLAND " and he too passes.
It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell " CZECHOSLOVAKIA ".
Laloo protests that he doesn't know English.
He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus
forced to fail with false intent.
Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another
chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal
platform for all three).
PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW". He writes it easily and
passes.
Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GURRRRRR.... ."
Tough one. He fails again.
Laloo is extremely unhappy.
Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't),he now
requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history
Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take
any more tests.
PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence ?". He replied "1947" and
passed.
Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?".
He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 100,000 or
200,000 or 300,000.
Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
It's Laloo's turn now.
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Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died
in the struggle.
Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.
Moral of the story: IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO *SCREW YOU*, THERE
IS NO ESCAPE ..... :)
There is an urgent requirement for following Position. Please apply ASAP .
Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below.
Designation : Associate Girl Friend ( Trainee )
- Experience : FRESHER (Experienced candidate Can apply )
- Age : only 18 to 28( higher age girl need not apply).
- Should be committed to work for 24*7.
- Skills Required: Good looking, Fair (bold enough to come out anytime will an added advantage )
- Preference would be given to beauty contest winner.
- No preference would be given to any degree/diploma.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Perks and incentives.
Total gross ( Monthly ) : 3 gifts worth 300/-
30 bike rides each duration 2 hours
20 trips to Selective place in Chennai/Banglore/Hyderabad/Mumbai/Kolkatta/NCR
10 Kulfis / Chocobars at a regular gap of 3 days
Daily Provision of Vada Pav / Samosa Pav / Pakoda worth of 5 /-
4 movies ( On choice ) per month on every weekend in PVR
Visits to Big Bazar, Life Style, Pubs and various malls.
Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to Demand
Net Deductions ( Monthly ) : Provident Fund and Service taxes to be informed on joining
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REFERRAL BONUS WILL BE GIVEN AS PER THE POLICY / IF PERFORMANCE IS HIGH THEN WILL BE PROMOTED TO NEXT GRADE "WOODBE" AND THEN TO "WIFE" IN 2 YEARS
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All short listed candidates will be intimated over phone.
We would appreciate if you can refer / ask more potential candidates to meet the Recruitment team at the earliest
Note : Ex-girl friends will not be eligible for any referral benefits.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A couple goes on holiday to a fishing resort at Lakes Entrance. The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife likes to read.
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lakes area, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book. Along comes a fishing inspector in his boat.
He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies thinking "isn't that obvious!"
"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and make a report."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the man.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.............
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think
Monday, November 12, 2007
IF you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that,
that they're checking your mobileline, and you > have to press # 90 or
#09 or any other number. End this call immediately without pressing any
numbers. There is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90
or
#09 they can access your "SIM" > card and make calls at your expense.
Forward this message to as > many friends as you can, to stop it. This
information has been confirmed > by both Motorola and Nokia. There are
over
3 Million mobile phones > being infected by this virus in all around the
world now. You can also check this news in the CNN web site. >>
PLEASE FORWARD THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS >>
